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Sorry, Navin. It’s never a good spot to hinge your emotional well being on Tottenham’s success.


The result puts Villa “on the beach”, which means that a Chelsea win tomorrow (Wednesday) sets up Palace to land a nuclear cock-punch on Brighton on Sunday.

[Mr. Burns emoji]

I need you to explain this to me. How does Palace’s game against Aston Villa affect Brighton? I’d be happy for a Brighton nuclear cock-punch, of course, I just don’t follow what would happen.

If Palace wins on Sunday, and Brighton loses their last two games - against Chelsea and Man Utd both of whom are yet to secure a place in Europe - then Palace will finish above Brighton.

Given how things were for both clubs as recent as two months ago, this is like coming back from down 0-3 in a 7-game series.

Ah, I see. Go Palace. Fuck Brighton.

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Does anyone know where you can hire a team of ex-Special Forces operatives for 24/7 personal security? Asking for Harrison Butker.

Simple Jack Cole Palmer nets the first goal for Chelsea against Brighton. So far so good.

The set-up is all going to plan. Brighton lost today and Man Utd won.

On Sunday:

  • Palace host Villa, for whom the result is meaningless, and many of their players may be rested or protected ahead of the Euro Championships that start in a couple of weeks.

  • Brighton host Man Utd, for whom at least 1 point is needed to have a chance to get into a European competition next season via league position.

If Palace win and Brighton do not, Palace will finish above them. If Brighton draw, Palace will have to win by 2 goals to break the goal difference tie. If Palace do anything other than win, it’s all moot.


  • If Bournemouth fails to win (at Chelsea), Palace will leapfrog them too with a win - a first ever top half Premier League finish is very much a possibility.

  • Palace’s highest finish in the pre-PL world is 3rd in the old First Division (1990/91).
    Screenshot 2024-05-15 at 4.44.46 PM

  • Man Utd have another route to Europe besides via their league position, but that involves beating Man City in the FA Cup final. So, yeah, good luck with that.

Fun Fact: Palace Under-21s are Champions of Europe by dint of winning the Premier League International Cup - beating PSV 1-0 in the final today.

I’m not saying that the result was fortunate, but GK Joe Witworth had an MVP kind of day.

The Stars take a 1-0 on a goal by Pavelski in the first period.

Avs Lehkonen scores on a power play with 0.6 seconds before the end of the first. 1-1 after one.

The Stars Heiskanen scores with 8:26 left in the second, 2-1 Stars over the Avs

What a dumbass penalty to take.

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The Avs Makar scores on a power play goal with 3:36 left in the second to tie the game at 2 goals apiece. Heading to the third period knotted up at 2-2.

The Avs score the first minute into the third to take a 3-2 lead.

The Avs score again, Makar again, 4-2.

Stankoven scores for the Stars, now trail the Avs 4-3

Avs MacKinnon scores with three minutes to go back up by two 5-3.

And that’s the final score Avs 5 Stars 3. Back to Denver for game 6.

Kind of a weird game.

Game 6 should be fun.