What? Walk Hard wasn’t a real biopic?!?!?
“It’s time to call more ladies.”
So I watched “Alien” again recently, and I was reminded of some sub-plots and theories that I think enhance the original movie.
SPOILERS…OBVIOUSLY…
Ripley and Dallas were Fucking
There was a scene deleted at the script level where Ripley and Dallas were fucking but were interrupted when Kane’s body floated past them outside the window. Now, given the point in the plot that this was supposed to happen, it would occur sometime after the chest-burster scene. It’s a little on the nose to think that this was their reaction to that, instead of getting to the business of catching the “little bastard”.
However, elements of the relationship survived into the final cut: (1) Ripley and Dallas being very comfortable with each other as demonstrated by their argument in the corridor; (2) when the dead face-hugger drops onto Ripley in the infirmary, Dallas’ instinct is to run to protect her, rather than go after the alien spore; and (3) his decision to go into the air ducts in place of Ripley, who was the logical choice. This relationship adds infinitely more emotion to Ripley’s mercy-killing of Dallas (in the extended cut).
Lambert was a Transexual
The script of Alien was noted at the time for having a cast of characters who were all gender neutral. Each one could be male, female of otherwise, so much so that Lambert was subliminally transexual. Specifically, she was transitioning from male to female, and this was important as it would drive some of the xenomorph’s behavior.
To wit, it has been theorized that the creature was looking for someone with whom to mate in order to create a new queen. It had come across male crew members only until it meets Lambert, at which point it stops to study her before being attacked by Parker. In fact, there is a deleted scene where it does a weird crab-walk across the floor to Lambert, which looked laughable (which is why they cut it) but smacked of a mating ritual. Its plans were stymied though, as Lambert was in transition and - while emitting female pheromones due to hormone treatments - she did not have reproductive organs.
You think this is too far out there? Consider these two things: (1) the length of time it took - and the weird noises coming through the intercom - when the creature killed Lambert; and (2) Lambert’s pants were removed, which can be seen in the brief shot of when Ripley comes across the bodies.
This is a little contradictory to the deleted scene of Dallas and Brett being cocooned, with Brett well on the way to becoming an egg. This obviously indicates that the eggs come from captured prey. However, this is not canon - as it wasn’t in the original cut - and it is overwritten by the sequel in which we see the eggs being laid by a queen and cocooning being merely a way to incapacitate victims for face-huggers.
The Big Alien’s Lethargy
Following the destruction of the Nostromo, Ripley stumbles upon the xenomorph crammed into the tubing of the shuttle. Even though it is aware of her presence, it makes no effort to come after her. It just lays there, poking out its tongue, until she flushes it out with a steam purge. What gives?
This is actually a nod to a lifecycle taken from nature, in that the faster a creature grows, the shorter its lifespan. The exponential growth of the xenomorph from face-hugger to big alien means that it will flame out really fast, like a dragonfly. Having failed to procreate (see above), it found a dark hiding place and climbed in. It wasn’t lying in wait for Ripley; it was dying. You can see that it was covered in that nasty goop, which suggests it was essentially rotting while alive.
NERRRRRRRRRRRD
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I finally watched “Maverick”, and other than being pleasantly surprised at its quality, my main takeaway was that Jennifer Connelly is somehow more beautiful than she was 20 years ago.
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Deadpool 3.
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FUCK and YEAH
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The nostalgia is overwhelming.
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Nailed the quote and the cord.
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Nope.
Not clicking on that. Ever.
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I may never get a boner again.
Like somebody handing you their shoe and saying “smell this” and you do.
NERD FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
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I’m here for anyone swatting down NdGT with facts.
Well, a couple of points here:
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Not sure how Kelly arrived at his Mach 25 number since that’s the ratio of an object’s velocity to the speed of sound in the object’s medium (air at some density, usually). In the vacuum in which Kelly’s spacewalk took place, the speed of sound is zero, so the Mach number is undefined. His velocity probably was around 25,000mph, so maybe he just grabbed the 25 as “close enough” and simply used that to compare against the 10.5.
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If Cruise’s jet is in fact operating as an aircraft rather than a rocket, it necessarily has aerodynamic forces acting on it, and those forces are due to atmospheric pressure. Returning spacecraft encounter those forces at altitudes far above where Cruise was operating (I assume; I haven’t seen the movie), and they’re strong enough that, for example, heat shields are required to deal with the friction. (Of course, they’re also going faster, which contributes significantly.) At anything below 200,000 feet or so, I suspect NdGT’s take is probably pretty close to what would happen. Fwiw, an SR-71 pilot did survive an “ejection” (actually, the aircraft disintegrated around him), but I don’t know if anybody knows how fast he was going when he became a projectile.
In the interest of science, I think we should put Cruise in a Mach 10.5 vehicle, push him out the door, and see what happens. It’s the only responsible thing to do.
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Counterargument: Kelly was going mach INFINITY.
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Evangeline Lily somehow found an even worse haircut that the last one.
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