Tigers @ Astros, April 5, 2023

Let’s play a good game today, boys.

What’s the definition of insanity again?

Right, the top of this order.

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I’d flip Pena and Bregman, but Dusty don’t ask me shit.

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CB Bucknor’s behind the dish today, so there’s that

Javier had a quick 9 pitch 1st.

Stros went 5-3, F8, Yordan single, 5-3

Javier has a quick 8 pitch 2nd.

Tucker rung up on a perfect 3-2 down and out FB. Too close to take.
Hensley rips a single into LF
Chas gets a middle-in 92mph sinker 1-2 and is all over it, 368 ft HR to LCF. Woohoo!

Fun Fact: Chas has 29 HR in his career, that was his 4th to LF, per the booth

Julks made an out somehow
Salazar grounds out 3-U

2-0 Stros after 2


Dusty gave Miggy a bottle of wine. I thought he didn’t drink anymore. I know he had to deal with issues in the past. Anyway, seems weird.

Hensley 2 run HR

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Anyone else here today?

Fixed it for you

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Yeah I meant McCormick.

2 on for Astros killa Vierling

Crisis averted. 2-1 Astros

I thought you wrote Adstros on purpose as a sort of wry commentary on new uniform developments.


K, single, SB, 3-U (runner to 3rd), IF hit plates a run. Fucking smallball.

Bloop hit puts runners on the corners with 2 out, Greene steals 2nd, and newly-minted Astro-Killer Vierling flies out down the line in RF.

2-1 Stros

41 pitches through 3 for Javier.

Bucknor just screwed Bregman on 2 straight outside pitches to open the AB, the first really noticeable dipshittery so far.

Pena and Bregman both hit it well but lineout to RF and LF, respectively. Yordan pops a lazy fly to LF, is visibly mad at himself, inning over.

2-1 Stros after 3

If the league had the power to cut the bottom 20-30 percent of the umpires then this whole robo zone shit would go away.

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Sorry my PBP is a bit lacking, but I’m doing stuff while watching…if anyone wants to take over feel free.

The second ‘strike’ to Bregman was at least ten inches off the plate, no exaggeration.


Abreu just hit one 400+ feet just left of dead center and it’s caught at the wall…Tucker turns on one and hits it 50 feet shorter for a HR down the line to RF

eta: 71 feet shorter per the booth