Texans 2024

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Not a great start, mainly since I assumed a victory would have to be driven by the defense.

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Fatukasi likely saved 4 points there.

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Yeah, that’s a catch and fumble.

Metchie, love the guy, but he has weakass hands. Drop/fumble machine.

This could easily be 0-14 right now.

0-6 is weirdly a big win for the Texans.

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That turnover happened so fast I didn’t even have time to get mad at Slowik.

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You should be firmly in mid-game form by now.

Very rare to see Stroud throw one that poorly.

Oh, yeah, don’t worry. I loved that statistic they showed a minute ago, that the Texans’ average third down distance is 7.7 yards. If that won’t get your OC fired then I don’t know what to tell you.

Also, Kris Boyd is another guy who serves absolutely no purpose on the team. The only contributions he ever makes are negative. It’s pretty amazing, really.

Also, speaking of third downs, I love how they invariably remove their best offensive player on third down.

What a dumb fucking penalty, just put 2 hands in his chest and throw him backwards

That was a helluva bounce.

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CJ looks awful. Never seen him close to this bad.

Third and eight on that play.

I can’t remember seeing a player regress like CJ has.

They’re gonna get blown out of the building.

Really can’t believe Harbaugh is flummoxing a Buckeye QB

Any pulse of an offense gives them a fighting chance, but…

The defense needs to starting putting points on the board.

I’ve been saying this all year, not that it’s a brilliant observation but this is a Super Bowl caliber defense and a bizarrely underachieving offense, like a bottom 20% of the league offense, and after what they were last year that is simply not acceptable.