Texans 2021

Anyway I think we can all agree that we can rely on the Texans to pull us out of our collective football funk.

We have meatless options, but not vegan. We do have fruit, I suppose that’s vegan. As for beer, I’m not sure of the official vegan doctrine on yeast. It’s probably a grey area.

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Active yeast, no. Inactive yeast, yes.

That’s the same criteria I apply to cows.

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Can Limey kick PATs?

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You ever see those videos of idiots who declare on Twitter or wherever I COULD HAVE MADE THAT KICK and then they get invited to a place where they can try an extra point? Yeah, the results are way, way worse than you might be imagining.

Mills looks a little better this week.

Nicer weather this week too.

Is wheat beer gluten free?

No.

Well, I feel bad for the football players on this team. They played their asses off today, only to have their own kicker sucker punch them in the dick.

Culley is a proud graduate of the Kubiak-O’Brien School of Game Mismanagement, but he’s a nice guy, I guess.

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He has that team playing well for their talent level, but he looks like an amateur with some of his decisions.

He is. He’s not what you call a “strategist”. He gets confused by game situations. And by “game situations”, I mean such advanced concepts as “fourth down”. But everyone says he’s a nice guy. So there’s that.

You should have seen the Packers v Bengals kickers fiasco. Five missed kicks combined at the end of regulation and in OT. Each team missed game winners in OT before Crosby finally hit one.

Did Belichick tell the Texans to lay down in the 2nd half?

Fairbairn has chicken legs, which seems like an issue for a kicker, but the real dick-stomp was that punt / fake punt / just kidding nonsense.

Still, how is Fairbairn still a thing? He can’t reach the end zone from a kick off and, at one point, missed the entire field of play. How anyone imagined he’d make that FG - after missing two PATs - is beyond me.

And the combo ball-crusher after a dick-stomp was the personal foul to extend a NE drive followed by NE committing a foul on the last play of the game when there’s no time to enforce the penalty.

This is why I don’t go to the Texans anymore.

The hell of it at the end was Culley. He said after the game that he was trying to let the Patriots score on that last drive, but when they did, the penalty thwarted him. But wait for this gem….he said he wasn’t aware he could decline the penalty and let the play stand, getting the ball back with almost two minutes left. Culley makes Donald Trump look like Isaac Newton.

Btw, sorry you didn’t make it by.

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When I saw Fairbain warming up before the game, it just sucked the life out of me.

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Thanks. Yeah, sorry to miss stopping by. I misjudged travel time on the train from downtown.

Please tell me you’re joking

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