Rangers @ Astros, July 24, 2021

I’m steaming Dungeness crabs. Someone start some PBP

I figured you’d be having possum.

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After I finally got Wrangler to put him down, I went to get a shovel to scrape him up. As soon as I touched him with the shovel, he got up and scampered away. He was playing possum.

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His doctor told him possum was too high in cholesterol

It obviously didn’t get tenderized enough to eat.

It’s almost as if they have a specific maneuver named after them.

Framber needs to find the fucking zone. These guys are hitting like a collective .125

FOR FUCK’S SAKE FRAMBER! THROW FUCKING STRIKES!

It was .160 AS A TEAM.

Strom out to talk to Framber after 12 pitches

Framber needs one of his patented ground balls here.

Work on the fucking hitter!

First inning… survived.

Weaseling out of things is what separates us from animals.

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Why, Yuli?

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Dammit Yuli

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First pitch

Attaboy Yuli. Guy can’t hit the side of a fucking barn, so you go up hacking at slop the first pitch.

It’s mystifying.

Except the weasel.

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Except for weasels