Astros at their daddy, 7/27/22

Today’s lineup is brought to you by Fuckitall. When you’re out of ideas on how to beat the worst team in baseball, just call Fuckitall and we’ll come prepare a random lineup for you, complete with multiple off days!

2B Altuve
1B Gurriel
DH Alvarez
3B Diaz
RF Tucker
LF McCormick
SS Dubon
CF Meyers
C Lee

P Javier


Diaz at 3B and hitting fourth has to be an upgrade, right?

He’s been on a tear, so who knows? Fuckitall

Diaz hit a line drive with two on but right at the guy making his first ever major league start at first base.

I think Yuli would tell you he should make that play.

Ok, it’s time for Jake to stop sucking.

Javier hangs it, Vogt bangs it.

1-0 A’s

Piscotty hits the next pitch out.

2-0 A’s

Motherbuttfucker! God dammit!

Only the 2022 Stros could give up BtB bombs to the 2022 As.

2013ish Astros say “Hi”

Are the Astros are the shittiest team ever with a 64 win and 34 loss record?

This ballclub could easily be 70 and 28 if they didn’t sometimes play like shit.

Lee overmatched again, Altuve with a line drive bunt, and Yuli a harmless fly ball.

They have a dangerously annoying ability to not show up when the stakes are lukewarm.


I’m going back to soccer. That may give the good guys a chance.

Javier gets a 1-2-3 in the third, but still trails 2-0.

The chickens are frying, not much else I can do to help the team.

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4-3, fly out, fly out from the heart of this Astros lineup. Complete limp bats.

If I ever come across that guy on his phone in the “it’s a lovely day today” commercial, I will go out of my way to run over him.