Astros at Bitchfaced Crybabies, 6/23/23

I’m not sleeping much lately, so I’ll either conk out in the first inning or be up well past game’s end.

What is your uncle’s name? You know, the one who made the Brooklyn Dodgers but turned them down.

What is his name?

And the guy they released, Aaron Hicks, is hitting .297/.409/.541 with two home runs and seven RBI over the last 14 days, and owns a .996 OPS over the last 30 days with Baltimore.

I’d forgotten the LA crowd felt cheated they lost the WS.

Hope those entitled sushi munchers see lots of Astros hits tonight.

They have as much self-awareness as a dog licking its own asshole in public.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Chas McCormick has a higher OPS than Kyle Tucker.

France put it on a tee for Betts.

That’s what falling behind Betts will get you, JP.

Betts crushed that like he knew what was coming.

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It’s LA. Some folks would PAY for that …

OPS:

Chas .795
Tucker .780
Diaz .812

4 LA hits so far vs 0 for Houston.

Come on France, get a DP and let’s turn this around!

Fucking time violation.

Get it together JP.

This is a .194 hitter, JP.

And he walked him.

To load the bases.

For Betts.

I had to switch back to the Astros’ broadcast. I tried listening to the Dodgers TV crew but their constant sucking of big old sweaty hairy stinky balls gets in the way of calling a baseball game… Whereas the Mets’ crew wasn’t terribly bad, the Dodgers’ crew is so bad they killed a million of my brain cells with each syllable I heard them spew.

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Sac fly plates the run and moves both runners.

Get this guy France.

Hpu guessing.

We might be asking too much of our #7 starter.

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We need to get to this Emmett Sheehan dude. And by we, I mean the Astros hitters. Just wanted to make that clear.