A Republic, If You Can Keep It

Three days still leaves a week before inauguration.

Trump threatens Denmark with tariffs.

He needs to be careful with this, Ozempic comes from Denmark.

It also leaves Cannon three days to come up with more shenanigans.

I believe the technical term for Trump’s policy is “extortion”.

She has no jurisdiction over the case currently. She had one shot and she’s shot it.

After which it will become a “special military operation”.

You underestimate the level of judicial corruption Trump has managed to put in place.

Not at all. Cannon had no jurisdiction over the case but issued an injunction anyway; corrupt as fuck. She bought a few days but can’t pull that same stunt again.

That’s basically the flipside of the coin from the Onion whenever there’s another mass shooting:

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Just to set expectations, Trump’s sentence today is likely to be a slap on the wrist at best. With incarceration and even community service off the table, Merchan has little left to work with.

The fact of the sentencing is the big thing today, not that Trump gets fined the sum total of a week of Eric’s pocket money.

Trump has Zoomed in to the courtroom like some evil Max Headroom. Everyone is in place waiting for Judge Merchan.

Manhattan DA recommends a sentence of unconditional release. Ironically, seeking unconditional release is what got Trump here in the first place.

Trump is getting a verbally dressing down from the Manhattan DA and I’m sure will get torched by Merchan. Brace yourself for an extended series of unhinged rants from the convicted felon himself that will likely run for some time.

Merchan has begun the formal sentencing:

To be sure, it is the legal protections afforded to the office of the president of the United States that are extraordinary – not the occupant of the office.

It was the citizenry of this nation that recently decided that once again you should have the benefits of those protections which include, among other things, the supremacy clause and presidential immunity. It is through that lens and that reality that this court must determine a lawful sentence.

This court has determined that the only lawful sentence that permits entry of judgment of conviction, without encroaching on the highest office of the land is unconditional discharge.

Therefore, at this time, I impose that sentence to cover all 34 counts.

Trump is sentenced to unconditional release, but is now formally, and for all history, a convicted felon. The first ever former president to be convicted of a felony and the first ever convicted felon elected president. You have to admire the symmetry.

This one was to appropriate not to share

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Funny because it’s true.

Things to keep up your sleeve for the next four years:

Screenshot 2025-01-11 at 3.12.25 PM

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BUt eGgS are ExPEnsIVe.

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Don’t worry. Trump is going to increase oil production from the Gulf of Cheaper Eggs.

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Gulf of American Eggs, thank you

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Maybe we can just call it the Gulf of No Hurricanes and solve two problems at once.

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NUKE GREENLAND!!!