Fan Cutouts

In the English Football League (the levels below the Premiership…think AAA, AA etc.) they have been selling these. Those clubs are waaaaaaaay more worse off for money than the Premiership, so they need any revenue they can get.

I wasn’t sure about the idea, mostly because Bright & Hove Albion wanted to do it and their fans are pathetic (they hand out noise makers…at a Premier League match!). However, I heard one story where a fan (not of Brighton) loved the idea because she was able to attend a game with her father, which was their favorite thing to do together. Her father died 15 years ago.

Who’s chopping onions?

So, there’s an upgrade option for me (and others I’m sure). I can have my cutout moved to the Diamond Club for $300.

Will cutout waitstaff bring you a cutout 15 dollar Bud Lite?

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as some of you know, i rarely drink at games, but a bag of peanuts would not be remiss.

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Man, in the DC you can’t go much wrong with the iced tea.

The peanuts are free in the Diamond Club. They taste like cardboard though.

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You’re not suppose to eat the shell.

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Nobody explained that to me the first time I tried tamales

Can you get a cutout of Bob doing his punch out dance in the aisle?

Now THAT would be $300 well spent

I’m fascinated to know how you people eat shrimp.

“Suck the head, eat the tail,” right?

I believe that’s for langoustines only.

Are we not doing “phrasing” anymore?

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In the Diamond Seats, the shrimp are included in the price of the ticket. They taste like cardboard though.

Fried in the shell, eaten whole is not bad at all.

This year they’re cut-out shrimp.

The fried softshell crawfish poboy is the first vendor I head to at JazzFest.

I used to be a shrimper in the '80s. Yep, my boat was very similar to the one in Forest Gump. One of the ways I paid for college was spending the summer in the Merchant Marines working on supply boats for the oil industry out of Morgan City La.

After college, there were no jobs for engineers so I joined a friend who captained a shrimp boat out of Aransas Pass. I figured I knew how to work boats and I needed money so I joined as a Deck Hand (“Header” in shrimper parlance) and worked my way up to 1st Mate (known as the “Rig Man”).

We would often drag our nets all night. Even in those days of “Loran”, we had pretty sophisticated electronics and navigation gear on an otherwise rather ramshackle boat. Known “hangs” as well as productive spots were plotted on a paper X-Y plotter and we could see our position in real time. Some of the best shrimping spots were close to the known “hangs” so you may try to drag very close. You don’t want to hang up you nets in deep water at night when it’s rough. It is dangerous and generally ruins your evening.

Anyway, the big nets were pulled from the end of the outriggers and took at least two men to set or recover. There was also a very small “try net” that could easily be set and recovered by one man. This net was used to make a regular “try” to get a sense of how much shrimp or other critters we were likely picking up in the main nets. Usually tries were made every hour or so, and as Rig Man I got the night shift on the wheel. I would set up a hibachi on the back deck next to the try net wench and when I retrieved the net I would take a few of the live shrimp, pop their little heads off, shell them and dunk them in butter, garlic, and tabasco then put them on the grill still twitching. SO FUCKIN’ GOOD!

There’s also “Dancing Shrimp”, which I only did once. You shell and head the live shrimp very quickly and eat it raw and twitching. I didn’t like the sensation.

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My dad had a friend named Lloyd Boyd. I have no idea where or how they met, but my dad had very few actual friends, and Lloyd was one of them. Lloyd loved Mexico and everything about it, and he hated air conditioning. He had this white van he’d bomb around town in, Mexican music blasting out of the open windows, white towel around his neck.

He always had big dreams of owning a shrimp boat. It may be that he actually had one that wasn’t seaworthy for who knows what list of reasons, you know, up on blocks in San Leon or some shit. Anyway, before I met Lloyd for the first time my dad said, If Boyd tries to get you to invest in his shrimp boat, tell him to go fuck himself.

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