So far, so lurid, but there is science behind the allegations. Injecting the penis with acid would increase its size and give the ski jumpers bigger genitalia at the point their suits are measured by 3D scanners.
Temporarily enhanced measurements would theoretically mean athletes being given a bigger, looser suit and, like a sail catching wind, could allow them to make longer jumps. Research from the scientific journal, Frontiers, published last October said that a 2cm change in a suit represented an extra 5.8 metres in the length of a jump.
There once was a man from Podunk,
Who injected acid into his junk.
It didn’t take a genius to see the size of his penis,
Was as big as an elephant’s trunk.
I really do enjoy watching curling, however. And now that streaming is ubiquitous, can’t we just have one stream for each of the venues and just watch what’s going on there, even if it doesn’t involve Americans?
