2020 Postseason: Defending American League Champion Houston Astros @ Twins, Game 1

Well, everyone starting clean. Let’s kick some ass.

ASTROS:

Springer, CF
Altuve 2B
Brantley, DH
Bregman, 3B
Tucker, LF
Gurriel, 1B
Correa, SS
Reddick, RF
Maldonado, C

Greinke, P

TWINS:

Arraez, 2B
Buxton, CF
Kepler, RF
Cruz, DH
Rosario, LF
Sano, 1B
Polanco, SS
Jeffers, C
Marwin, 3B

Maeda, P

Did not get any frito pie today, but drinking a Love Street and smoking a My Father Cedros Deluxe Cervantes

Would like to see the team piss some people off this year. Go Astros!

I’m for wasting sportswriters time, so I’d like to hang around and give them a big ol’ shitburger.

They call us cheaters then show Kershaw jumping into a car to track down a fly ball??

T1:

Springer…takes a cement mixer right down the middle for strike one…takes strike two on the corner…ball…ball…ball…full up…swings at ball four in the dirt, grounds out softly 5-3

T1:

Altuve takes strike one three inches off the plate at the ankles…takes one over the plate for ball one…geez this ump is lost…flies out F9

T1:

Brantley…ball down…fastball right down the pipe for strike one…ball down…doubles to LF

At least we now know why the Astros hitters have been struggling all year. They have been scared to get hit. Brainiac, that guy.

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M. Brantley

Hitter

T1:

Bregman takes a meatball right down the center for strike one…ball down…lines to SS

No score

The Astros ended up 23rd in HBP. I’m sure every sportswriter and airhead out there is monumentally disappointed.

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I bet you in the off season they’ll say they are saving it for next year… for their fans. I mean, there HAS to be a story, right?

Oh yeah. People will spend at least another year absolutely obsessed with the 2017 Houston Astros. LOVE IT!

B1:

Arraez grounds out 6-3

Snide cheating comments and Bachelorette commercials. Mute time.

I read something a day or so ago about how the Astros have the worst defense in baseball. They lead the league in FLD%, fewest errors, and most defensive runs saved. That’s how much the butt hurts.

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Mine has been mute from ON.

B1:

Buxton…0-2…swings at a pitch that almost bounces and bloops it into RF