If I figured out someone was stealing my stuff, I’d conveniently punch them in the dick.
1 Like
Suppose its a woman, or a Trans?
Especially on an airplane.
Story time - When my son was toddler, my wife and I were looking at something on the internet (dial up Juno account). My son was in her lap facinated by my cross pencil. He loved taking the top off and putting it back on. One time, apparently he was having trouble getting it off and had the lead part up and when the lid came off, the lead part went up towards my wife’s face and stabbed her in the inside of her nose (left septum area).
My first fear was that he got her in the eye but she she let me know it was her nose. I took the boy and she went up stairs to try to work on getting it out with tweezers. She was unsuccessful. That night, as we were tucking the kids in and doing our night time prayers I, pun totally unintended, prayed that God would help mommy get the lead out. I got kicked. Hard.
The next day she called an ENT and after putting her on hold for a few seconds, they told her to come in and they would look at her. My wife said, you really just want to see the 32 year old lady with pencil lead stuck in her nose and they replied “well, yes”.
Turns out it was a bit of a blessing, her nose had been broken in college playing intermural basketball and her septum was all out of whack. So they removed the lead and fixed her deviated septum and she has breathed much better ever since.
I have no idea what happened to that cross pencil.
4 Likes
In the third grade I was stabbed by a pencil and the lead broke off on the back of my hand. It was visible for many years, but I assume it eventually dissolved. Or it’s still there.
1 Like
John Wick:dog::HH:pens
1 Like
That’s the worst supervillain origin story I’ve ever heard
6 Likes
My similar youth experience involved a pencil in between 2 couch cushions and my left buttcheek.
I had a retractable pencil at school, and had a habit of retracting the lead by pressing the button and pushing the lead up with the fleshy part of my hand. One day I got the timing wrong, and had a piece of lead stuck in my hand for years.
And that’s what turned you and HH into liberals.
2 Likes
Leadman and his retractable…er…
Captain Leadman
1 Like
Graphite Guy
Not sure what his powers would be, outside of perfect handwriting
I was one of the last generation to learn mechanical drawing. I still like to draw sketches by hand and will draft out details at precise scale. I still rotate the pencil through the line to maintain uniform line weight, make precise arrowheads for dimension lines, and I can still letter with precision. My stand-up desk is a drafting table with a Para-Liner. I once was looking through some of my company’s old drawings from the 1910s and they were ink on fine linen. Those guys were masterful.
1 Like
Early in my career I got to work with those old-school draftsmen. They were something else. I tell the kids today…back in my day, we didn’t HAVE computers…we drew maps by hand and the draftsman turned them into works of art. They used chartpak tape, Leroy lettering kits, freehand drafting pens, Kroy machines, and if you wanted a map in color, an airbrush gun. And the whole drafting room smelled like ether and ammonia. Kids today are soft.
Actually, the map guys were a level above the draftsmen that I worked with. Illustrators, on the other hand were the best of all. The precision in some exploded assembly drawings, the subtleties of the shading and sectioning, item arrows and bubbles in perfect array…exquisite.
The worst ones probably ended up as courtroom artists. Those guys can’t draw for shit.
1 Like
“…smelled like ether and ammonia.”
My 1980s Chevy van with shag carpet and blacked out windows that I drive near schools is the same.
Wait.
What?
1 Like
Another 10 years I spent with AT&T were in the Southwestern Bell Yellow Pages division from 84 to 94. For a couple of years I was a supervisor of the artist group. These guys and girls were all great illustrators. A couple were amazing painters. They often did freelance work but they needed a steady gig with benefits because they had families to support and didn’t come from privileged backgrounds. The shit they did for Yellow Pages, was mostly crap ad copy compositions that in no way reflected their amazing talent and artistic abilities.
1 Like
I have a sadly similar story. I too had my late father’s Cross pen. It was gold and had a nice weight to it. When I was living in NYC a close friend and his wife stayed with me as they looked for an apartment, which as a task is a total nightmare if you do not have unlimited money, and probably still is even if you do. One day the woman went out apartment hunting and for who knows what reason took that pen with her. I never saw it again. She’s exactly the sort of self-absorbed idiot who would do something like that and not realize she was doing it and not care. In fact, once she and their daughter came to visit me in Panama. I was living on the beach, a couple of hours away from the airport, so going to get someone was an all day affair. Shortly before she was due to arrive she contacted me somehow saying that her plane was late and that she’d be in four or five or whatever it was hours later. Well, turns out she was offered a couple of hundred dollars to take the next flight and she did so not considering and not caring that I would be adrift for the next who knows how many hours. That’s what we’re working with here.
They’re divorced now, obviously.
1 Like