Cardinals @ Astros, April 18, 2026

Well, this one has gone about like you’d expect. McCullers with a month’s worth of free passes, and the hanging curveball. It’s 4-1 Cardinals in the third.

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Good fucking grief. This whole team just hacks at any slop thrown up there, whether it’s with bat reach or not.

Whitcomb is a fucking train wreck in the field.

It’s a sad commentary when Taylor Trammell is hitting in one of your prime RBI spots.

So this isn’t an alternate universe where Tramnell is a perennial triple crown candidate?

You have to fucking call for that Smith.

Bloop single, and a stolen base where the runner was halfway to 2B before LMJ even went into his delivery.

Halfway…4-1 Cardinals

Gordon in

And it’s 5-1

It’s 6-1

The bats have come back to Earth.

By come back to Earth, I assume you mean the plane has crashed into the goddamn mountain.

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If you squint hard enough, he kinda looks like Yordan in the box.

When was your last eye exam?

Fuckin’ rude!

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The last six games Correa, Walker, and Paredes have combined for three RBIs. All by Walker. Correa hasn’t driven in a run in nearly two weeks.

Shay Whitcomb with a 3-run tater.

7-5 now

And that’s that. Another complete shit show by the Astros pitching. I never imagined a Major League pitching staff could be this bad.